Offering a discourse without any fear or overwhelming emotions can be a real challenge, especially when it comes to the wedding speeches or toasts and especially if you are the mother of bride. Such a task is even more difficult if it is your first talk that you need to deliver in public or if you are shy or simply not familiar with the public speaking. In case you are in such a situation, you shouldn’t worry, because this article is actually a short, but effective, tutorial that will teach you how to get rid of the fear and huge emotions, and deliver a discourse like an experienced and professional orator.
Guide for Mother of the Bride Speeches and Not Only
Although this post was written mainly for the women that have to offer discourses at the receptions celebrating their daughter’s unions, the tips revealed in it can be used by any other speaker, such as the father of the bride or any of the groom’s parents. So, the public speaking guide presented in this article is appropriate for any beginner in this field, be it a woman or a man, a girl or a boy.
Step 1: Become Aware of the Obstacles
The first thing you need to do for becoming able to deliver a mother of the bride speech just like a successful public speaker is to identify the obstacles that are between you and this important goal. That is to say, you have to determine what exactly stops you from offering an excellent discourse. Once you know these obstacles, you become aware of them and try to find solutions for overcoming them.
Let me suggest you a few examples of things that might represent the causes for the delivery of wedding toasts or speeches with a lot of fear and emotions. You should see which of these causes are valid for you:
- Not being familiar with public speaking.
- Fear of being criticized.
- Paying attention too much to the opinions of others about him or her.
- Confusion regarding the content or the manner of delivering the discourse.
- Lack of confidence in his or her own abilities.
- Judging too highly the audience.
Step 2: Become Aware that Your Listeners Have Their Own Weak Points
After identifying the causes that determine the fear of speaking while facing a lot of persons, one of the mother of the bride duties is to understand and become aware of the fact that the attendees are not super humans, in the sense that they are not perfect. More precisely, they are not excellent public speakers. In fact, the great majority of them, if they had to deliver a wedding speech or toast, would certainly perform it very poorly.
So, don’t be intimidated by their relaxed and confident appearance while they sit or stand comfortably in front of you: they are so because they don’t have to offer a discourse and also because there aren’t many eyes staring at them. Therefore, while preparing your discourse, as well as while delivering it at the reception, think to your future listeners in a more realistic manner, without overestimating their abilities. This accurate approach will help offering the mother of the bride speeches or toasts, as well as any other type of talk, in a more relaxed and confident way, exactly like the successful public speakers.
Step 3: Remember Why the Guests Are There
While getting ready for your discourse, and especially while delivering it, it is very important to not lose sight of the primary reason for which your listeners attend the marriage party: for being entertained with music, food, drink, dance and chatting. This means that they are not there for listening to speeches. Moreover, while they are listening to your talk, they might be impatient to get to the next part of the reception, which can be the dinner or the dancing.
Anyway, they certainly won’t pay too much attention to your discourse and they might forget most of it once you finish it, so don’t be too stressed about this speech, because the mother of the bride dresses, suits, gowns, shoes, hairstyles and gifts cause you enough worry and hassle. However, this does not mean that you should neglect your discourse’s groundwork and delivery, as the speech part of the reception it’s very likely to be captured on the wedding’s movie and you certainly want to have pleasant memories from your daughter’s wedding. This step is meant only for reducing the tension caused by the act of speaking in public.
Step 4: Keep in Mind that the Guests Are Simply Curious
It’s very useful to bear in mind that your listeners are only curious about what you would like to say, and they don’t look at you critically, for discovering defects. This step is necessary because the shy persons usually have this wrong feeling regarding their listeners and it’s exactly this feeling that makes them overwhelmed by emotions during their talks.
Step 5: Stop Caring Too Much about the Others’ Impressions about You
You must understand that if you continue to let your emotional state be influenced by the way the others treat you or see you, you decrease your chances to overcome the fear of speaking in public and the powerful emotions caused by the wedding speech or toast that you need to deliver.
Step 6: Visualize Yourself at the Wedding While Practicing
Despite the fact that I mention it in the end of this article, this step is one of the most effective tips for getting rid of the fear of public speaking. You have to repeat your discourse several times in the days and hours prior to your daughter’s bridal reception, but this repetition must be performed in a certain manner. The future orators must necessarily imagine that they are at the wedding party and all the guests are looking at them while they deliver their mother of the bride speeches. This helps them to familiarize with public speaking.